Q: A year ago I was released from prison. I began dating a girl who I met right before I went in. I did five years and she held me down through those years. I would like to marry her but her family thinks I’m a piece of trash. I try to ignore their comments and little remarks because I really love her. We are of different races and social class. Just so you don’t get it twisted, her family is made up of doctors and are African American, and I’m basically white and broke. Think it will work?
A: So basically you are a scrub? That’s not cute. You need to do her a favor and leave her alone and let her find someone else who deserves her. I mean, maybe if you get it together and stay out of jail you can win her back, but in the meantime you need to get your life together and your money right before you try to propose to her.
Q: My girl loves to watch porn, so one day she decided that we should start filming ourselves going at it. We’ve been doing that for a few months. I wanna take our act public because I think we’re both pretty good looking. Should I approach her with it? She tells everyone we videotape ourselves. What could it hurt?
A: First off, you two are not famous, so in that case what would make you guys different from the rest? Exactly. There’s no difference. Maybe if you had a plan, like you had a company that approached you to fund the tape, then maybe you could run the idea by her, but as of now it seems like you’re trying to make money off her ass … literally.
Q: My girl cheated on me and now her homegirl wants me to hit it. She says I’m a real catch. What should I do?
A: Oh, this is a hard one. I mean the right thing to do is to let her know how much of a scandalous b**** her homegirl is, but at the same time you could call it even if you did her homegirl. The ball is in your court on this one.
Q: I sometimes catch my girlfriend looking at other girls the same way I do, but then when I ask her about having a threesome she gets mad. How do I know if my girlfriend is interested in other girls?
A: Well try this: Offer to take her and her girls out for a night on the town and get them really loaded and see what happens. If she starts making out with some of her girls then you might have a chance, but if she’s looking dead at you all night and not paying any of her girls any attention sexually, then I suggest you leave it alone.
Q: The first time I have sex I always climax in like 10 seconds, but I’m always ready to go again two minutes later, is that bad?A: If you’re ready to go 10 seconds later then all is good, but if you’re out for the rest of the night we have a problem.
Q: My ex is crazy, but I can’t stop having sex with her because it’s so good. How do I get over her?
A: Well if it’s that good keep hit’n it, but don’t be surprised if you wake up one night and your d*** is in her hand!
Q: I want to have sex with my girl when she’s on her period, but she won’t let me. What can I do?
A: Try taking a shower with her and when you guys are fooling around you can slip it in real quick, trust me it will work out perfectly.