Kristin Vye Cardenas of Houston, Texas, is wise beyond her years, especially when it comes to pleasing her man. The 25-year-old model was more than happy to share her perspective on what it takes to be the “perfect woman.” For more on this perfect specimen visit

So, Kristin, what makes you the perfect woman? And please don’t just tell us that you cook and clean.

I’m the perfect woman because not only do I cook and clean in barely any clothing, but when my man comes home from work, I feel that it’s my duty to cater to his every need. If he’s a good boy and works hard for me, I will be a good girl and make sure that he’s smiling by whatever means possible.

Part of being the perfect woman means that you’d clean, polish and wax your man’s ride. But if you’re gonna do that, you need to know what to use. So what would you use? Let’s see if you’re just frontin’.

The only brand that will touch my tight ride is Armor All. That brand makes the only products that I need to make a whip look sexy, except, of course, the tight shorts and wife-beater that I wear while I’m cleaning it.

Give us the 10 essential things that all “wannabe” perfect women need to know about their men.

There’s only one thing that every wannabe perfect woman needs to know about their men, keep him happy no matter what it takes, because if you don’t, somebody else will.

They say that everything in Texas is bigger. Is that true?

Not at all. Everything is not bigger in Texas. In fact, I’ve seen bigger in Cali and New York.

The perfect dinner means that dessert is always served on time. But even more important is which type of desert would you make for your man?

Yes, yes. Every dinner needs to be followed up with some dessert. Depending on how good my man has been, decides what he’s served. If he’s acting up, not keeping me happy, he can have jello, but if he’s been a really good boy, he gets me with a bottle of chocolate sauce.

In your experience, what’s the one thing that most men don’t know about you, or just women in general?

I’m not sure what most men don’t know about women in general because I’m far from the average woman. But what a man needs to know about me is that my God and my family are first above any man, always will be, so if he asks me to choose against anything having to do with those things, he will lose.

Creativity in the bedroom is essential for a meaningful relationship. So what’s the most creative that you’ve ever gotten?

Well, only my man gets to know the details of the most creative event in the bedroom, because he was there. I’m not one to kiss and tell, but just know that when I have a special man in my life, I’m down for whatever, whenever.

Sharing your emotions and the truth is a must. But what about sharing a friend with your better half?

I’m a completely secure woman. If that’s what my man wants, he probably would get it. I figure it like this, if he wants it bad enough, he will get it whether I’m there or not, so if he’s worth it, then I will be a part of his fantasy come to life.

Have you been to L.A.? If so, what’s the difference between men from Texas and L.A.?

Yes, I have been to L.A. to go to the Playboy Mansion and for many photo shoots. Men are going to be men no matter where they live. You just have to be able to distinguish the real from the fake.

And the difference between the women?

I have yet to meet a woman from L.A. who I don’t want to punch in the face, but I’m sure that it’s just the quality of people that I’m around. If I went to go have fun instead of work, I’m sure that I could meet some cool chicks. Until then, yuck!

Our photographer Edgar brags that he sleeps butt nekked. Do you?

I hate clothing; it’s so binding, especially when you’re trying to sleep. My friend once got a bite in a bad place, and ever since she told me about it, I have to at least wear a thong, but if my man is home, I leave them off just in case we both have nice dreams.

What’s the one thing that absolutely makes a man a man?

Um, duh! We learned that in preschool. No, I’m just playing. I’d say his touch. A woman’s hand can never do what a man’s can.

Who do you like better? A buff and arrogant dude? Or a lanky and confident one?

Lanky and confident. Muscles don’t hurt, but arrogance is disgusting… in women too.

Fear Factor or American Idol?

Fear Factor. I love to see sexy people make asses out of themselves. It makes them seem real. We are all retarded; just some people are too big-headed to admit it.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

I have a big black panther tat crawling down my back. It used to have my husband’s name back there; I know, I know, I was young and dumb. Then I became old and dumb and covered it up with an animal.

Okay, we’ve been harassing you about being the perfect woman. So how would you define the perfect man?

No man is perfect, but an ideal man is honest, family- and church-oriented, funny, knows how to cook and caters to my every desire.